


seungkwan, the hufflepuff

by jundelalune (gnahz)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Many Regrets, crack on crack, my fingers slipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9039335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnahz/pseuds/jundelalune
Summary: basically nothing happens but you should still read this. please do.





	

Todayz boodivaz wokes ups. He stretch hand and open mouth to bless the world with his dulcet tones. Nufink comes out!!!!1!! Ohnoess!! :( wat will do???? He flails back gently making sure his fall is cushioned. He cries “nufink comes out oh noess wat will i doo????”

 

Suddenly a fairy appear. An actually sparkle butterfly human wif a small stick pop up. “To brake dis spell sum1 must says dey luff u” the tiny sperson squeak. “Ohnoess!!!” bubblebutt monns.

 

He first finds leader soup. He gif his lida soup. “Daknk u 4 da soup” soup says. BOoriana kwande w9s. Soup drinks soup. Soup only drink soup. Scene fades to black.

 

Seungbutt finds john hancock next cuz he anjell. He nice and sparkle too. Pretty. “Seungkwan~~” he hears through the door. He open the door. “Turn off light pls tq” jenga sais. Boorack obooma turn off light. Jeongsatan closes eyes and slep. And doesn’t say he luff buttkwan.

 

Mickwan booble fynds seventeen’s 来自美国的gentleman cus he got desert fox eyes. big . sparkly . Joshhyung ist watching anime. Boobooty leaf as he doesn’t want to listen about “homoerotic subtext” or that “i am not otaku i am just an interested and casual observer i can stop at any time just not now cause i started already and i just want to finish not obsessed i am merely admiring art okay”.

 

Legally boolonde finds quiethandsomeboy in his room. “I luff u” he hear. his heart lep pit pat out of rib cavity. “Y u so handsome, u beautiful paradise being” boobutt shakes int he wind as he moves arms in general direction of his saviour. He open mouf but his vivacious vocalisation remans absent. He turn and see jum wif his personal and portable full-length mirror/pose stand now only $99.99, for the first 100 callers only. He cries in jeju accent.

 

Booty and the best quality go 2 finds naegahosh. He fling open door dramatically cause he like dramatic drama. Dramaboo leans against the doorframe dramatically, placing a hand against his forhead to indicate drama. However there is no one inside. Instead he finds a hamster nibbling on nuts. Okay this is normal he thinks and goes away. He does not notice very energetic hamster attempting a crab walk and accompanying hoshtopus wif many hip thrust.

 

In his quest to regain his melifluous modulations, booyonce finds wonwoop who is reading with his big round fake glasses cause he hopster lyk dat. Bookira uses elaborate gesture to convey loss of his amazing articulation. Wonwon stops him with a firm hand before he pokes out someones eyes cause fake glasses dun got glass. “I understand your inner torment what are we in this everchanging world what can we do when we are but specks in the great expanse of the universe what hope do we have what is the use of aspiration, dreams -” boogh jackkwan face walls a little too hard and temporarily loses his senses luckily.

 

Kwan boodashian find ujiberry next in its natural habitat, the recording studio. The shadowking is busy so he backs away slowly, booty to wall, until he is out of guitar-swinging range before he busain bolts it out of dere. He haf survived.

 

Pitbooll struts into the common feeding area, finding idiot #3. He waves to attract DonkeyKongs attention from the pate of jelly he had been watching. Boostina Kwanguilera points at himselg. Staring imploringly at DoucheKanoe. After a 10 minute staring contest, DoorKnob realises Booritney Spears is attempting charades. “I!!!!!!” he screams excitedly as he is excitde. Booriah Carey stabs a finger at his throat. “THROAT, NO, VOICE, NO, SPEAK!!!1!!!!!” DullKnife scrams excidetedly cause he excieds, pitch rising with each guess. In the background a glass cracks. J-boo then slashes his arms, in a desparate attempt to convey his desparation. “FRIDGE, MICROWAVE, COUNTER, PAPER TOWL” DumbKnut screams as he follows boono mars’ finger, “YOU SPEAK FRIDGE WHAT IS THEY SAYING. Buberry deflates like a boolloon and leafs, leaving behind DoorKnob’s attempts to infect kitchen appliances with his enthusiasm.

 

~~ SC JH JS J HS WW WZ DK MG T8 SK VN DN  (htf do i keep track - get it together rebs u gotta finish)  ~~

 

Bootylicious finds mingus next. Bootipool decideds minguy is beyond help. Lady booboo leafs.

 

Unbooleafable findeth thughao next. Swag8 is cleaning his room with a mixture of his bboy skillzz and martial arts. Bunningoutofnames walks in and is met with a faceful of pillow. His makes a few attempts at help only be hit by a chair, bag of almonds, stapler and chinese calendar before he is put in the corner. No one puts Babyboo in a corner. So he decides to leave. But when gr8 is gone tho cause he can’t physically leave yet.

 

Booboo escapes eventually and finds verno verbruh. THIS IS HIS CHANCE. WHAT ELSE WOULD ALL THOSE YEARS OF BROSHIP AND BROMANCE HAVE LED TO APART FROM THIS. he runs up to verdude and points at himself excitedly and making in a fingerheart. Memesol slaps his booty and dances away. “hotline blinggggg~~~~”, theworstbroever continues down the hallway, “that can only mean one thingggggggggg~~~~~~”. Oh my god.

 

~~ Last one u can do dis~~

 

Boostrikemedownican’tthinkofanythinganymoreletmeliveplsssssss finds michael chanson in his daily ritual of watching thriller at least five times every morning. “Hey hyng” he mutters distractedly as boot physically turns his head away from the screen. This is his shot. Boolor seungft makes a giant heartu, blowes kisses, winks, squishes the life out of leechanoppar in quick succession. “Ye luff u 2 hyungg” seungkwansnewfavouritemember mutters distractredly. Chandelier is the kindest most nice person ever from now on (he is doe look at does eyes). Shia leboo resolves to spend the rest of his life by his side. He threads their fingers together and they watch the zombies rise into the sunset.

 

“You used to call me on my cell phoneeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~” memesol waltzes in the background cause he no longer a main lead in this fic, reduced to mere comedic side character which tbh is the best character.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn’t think of an ending okay my brain died  
> and i tried many efforts made  
> i'm really sorry  
> thank you for your time  
> ((do people get what the title references?))


End file.
